For those that know me well, you know I tend to have a hot temper, but then cool off just as quickly, and rarely hold grudges for any length of time.
As an example, even with Nitsch being so miserable, I don't hold a single grudge against any of them. In fact, I tend to empathize with what the administration and some of my more unpleasant co-workers might have been going through to cause them to treat others so poorly. I still think of my time there as rough and I wouldn't chose to do it again if I had a choice, but I have moved past my initial anger and frustration with them, just like I move past my frustration with most things.
That being said, there has been one thing that I've been holding on to. Even when I haven't thought about it for a while, it crops up again and bam! I'm left feeling just as hurt as I was to begin with. It was from someone I care for very much, and yet even still I can't seem to let go. It hit me again last night, and once again I felt angry and betrayed. I found myself thinking about it and feeling myself getting more and more upset, and (since I obviously wasn't sleeping anyway), I decided to turn to my Bible as I have been doing more and more these days.
You know how attached I've become to Matthew ...
Matthew 6:14-15 "For if you forgive others their trespasses, your heavenly Father will also forgive you, but if you do not forgive others their trespasses, neither will your Father forgive your trespasses."
It was a bit of a shock to the system. If I can't forgive this thing - this one thing - then neither can my Father forgive me for the MANY things I've done ... and continue to do. Maybe it will continue to hurt, and maybe even continue making me the littlest bit angry, but that is no excuse for me to continue holding it against that person.
Getting angry in itself isn't a sin, but as it says in Proverbs 29:11, "A fool gives full vent to his anger, but a wise man keeps himself under control."
(I've learned this verse because I teach teenagers ... and if I'm taking my own counsel ...:)
Keeping myself under control and letting go .... it's so challenging. But I REALLY want to be forgiven for everything I do. It's time. I may just need to remind myself occasionally. If you're struggling with the same thing, I feel with you. We can do it though.
As an example, even with Nitsch being so miserable, I don't hold a single grudge against any of them. In fact, I tend to empathize with what the administration and some of my more unpleasant co-workers might have been going through to cause them to treat others so poorly. I still think of my time there as rough and I wouldn't chose to do it again if I had a choice, but I have moved past my initial anger and frustration with them, just like I move past my frustration with most things.
That being said, there has been one thing that I've been holding on to. Even when I haven't thought about it for a while, it crops up again and bam! I'm left feeling just as hurt as I was to begin with. It was from someone I care for very much, and yet even still I can't seem to let go. It hit me again last night, and once again I felt angry and betrayed. I found myself thinking about it and feeling myself getting more and more upset, and (since I obviously wasn't sleeping anyway), I decided to turn to my Bible as I have been doing more and more these days.
You know how attached I've become to Matthew ...
Matthew 6:14-15 "For if you forgive others their trespasses, your heavenly Father will also forgive you, but if you do not forgive others their trespasses, neither will your Father forgive your trespasses."
It was a bit of a shock to the system. If I can't forgive this thing - this one thing - then neither can my Father forgive me for the MANY things I've done ... and continue to do. Maybe it will continue to hurt, and maybe even continue making me the littlest bit angry, but that is no excuse for me to continue holding it against that person.
Getting angry in itself isn't a sin, but as it says in Proverbs 29:11, "A fool gives full vent to his anger, but a wise man keeps himself under control."
(I've learned this verse because I teach teenagers ... and if I'm taking my own counsel ...:)
Keeping myself under control and letting go .... it's so challenging. But I REALLY want to be forgiven for everything I do. It's time. I may just need to remind myself occasionally. If you're struggling with the same thing, I feel with you. We can do it though.
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