CB draws our family

For a while it seemed as though Clara wasn't really into art, but the last month she's really been interested. People are her new favorite things to draw, but today's drawing was SPECIFICALLY Mommy which made me really happy because we've been having a difficult time together.

I'm totally digging my yoda ears, pegleg and fro. And that's genuine.

I've done a lot of crying lately, but this was the good kind :)

Updated later to include the whole family:

Clara, Mommy, Emma Lou, Daddy, and a banana for breakfast

I asked her if it was okay if I labeled it and she was excited about the idea. 

Yay Clara!

Pledge: Phone Compartment - It can wait.

This morning a blogger I follow on Facebook posted this and hit home hard with me:

This morning I put my phone in the glove compartment (the below is not my glove compartment, it's a random image from Google, but I want a visual to add here), and I felt the instinctive urge to grab my phone FOUR times in a 20 minute drive. That is a crazy addiction, people. And I know I'm not the only one who feels that way. 

I'm done. 

I want to set a good example for my kids who will be drivers one day. I want to be safe with my kids in the car. I want to be safe for other people on the road. 

It CAN wait, and this is my public pledge. No more texting and driving. No more "checking" and driving. I hope you'll consider pledging with me.

Footprints Cartoon

I know I'm not the only one kicking and screaming!

This hit me just right - thought a few of you may appreciate it too :)

Don't look for the key

This. THIS. THIS.

We all have hang ups of different sorts. For me? I stare longingly at doors that have been shut. Meditate on them. Try to pry them open. Attempt to pick the lock. 

I wonder WHY I can't let stuff go!

I don't hold grudges, actually. It's not that. I forgive easily and quickly, but I have a terrible time accepting it when someone doesn't like me, hasn't forgiven me, or has rejected me in some way. My goal is almost always to make things right. Which means opening doors back up, to create an even air flow of peace .... or something. Considering all of the different doors in my life this would have to be a castle we're talking about.

But, sheesh, woman (speaking to myself here), let. it [them]. go.

Walk away from the doors I didn't choose to close.

Find different doors to open. And enjoy the ones that remain unlocked.

A Parenting Victory!

Over the past several months we've noticed a disturbing trend. Clara would eat her breakfast and lunch (at home, but even better at school), but then refuse to eat her dinner, wanting only "snack" type foods. Historically, because we've been exhausted with a newborn with very little energy left to devote to the meal time battle, we've let it slide and she could have string cheese and gold fish for every dinner if she wanted ... cringe worthy, I know.

However, all good things must come to end (like the pacifier, poor tot), as dinners of gold fish must as well. I do sympathize, really I do.

Lately if she TRIES her dinner (two real bites which have been chewed and swallowed), she can then have yogurt or a cheese stick instead. If she actually EATS her dinner (meaning an honest effort, not necessarily finishing it) she can have dessert after (pudding, popsicle or small ice cream). This system has been brutal but it's finally paying off!

Tonight Clara refused to eat the dinner that I made (homemade baked chicken fingers with steamed veggies), so she went 2 hours asking us for other things to eat, but we did not give in. It was try dinner or nothing until right before bed (when we always give her applesauce, because she usually needs a snack by then anyway, even if she eats her dinner).

She came back and tried her chicken!! 

I knew this new policy would work eventually!! Hallelujah! 

And then baby girl finished off her dinner with two yogurts, a string cheese and some applesauce :) But she tried her dinner!!

Parenting Toddlers Article

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/stephanie-gates/4-things-i-wish-id-known-when-i-was-parenting-toddlers-the-first-time-around_b_5539505.html?ncid=fcbklnkushpmg00000037

One more interruption in the form of an article that spoke to me - especially after an evening of trying to convince Clara to eat her dinner. Which is a normal struggle in this household.

I love the perspective this woman is coming from!

And I have been slowly learning to embrace Clara's personality - which has really helped me enjoy her more!

a little dose of girly inspiration

Sometimes I question the wisdom of God giving me two little girls to raise after I was a bit of a tomboy, and still don't know anything about makeup, fashion, etc. BUT then I see articles like this that demonstrate to me exactly how Clara, Edith and I will have a ton of fun through their own ideas! Will we ever make paper dresses? Who knows! But I bet we find the perfect way to have fun as a trio of ladies no matter what we do :)

Right now that means reading and drawing HUNDREDS of pictures of cows, ducks, grapes, apples, sheep, faces, etc. But next week .... maybe something else.

Super cute article, I highly recommend!

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2014/02/26/4-year-old-paper-dresses-fashion-by-mayhem_n_4855545.html?ncid=fcbklnkushpmg00000037

Mom's on Fire

Hilarious. And awesome.

http://www.faithit.com/these-moms-laying-down-law-hip-hop-style-its-hysterical/

A must watch for moms, future moms, or anyone who wants a giggle,

Senior Self-Perception

Today in the 12th Grade English class we read the prologue to Ellison's novel the Invisible Man. After we finished reading it, I had them use the format of the beginning of the prologue to create their own version. In the Invisible Man's prologue, the narrator is stating what he is and what he is not according to how he perceives himself. I had them all write one using their own self-perception. I was so excited about the assignment (dorky teacher alert) that I decided to write one for myself, too.

Enjoy them!
(In case you can't read them I will translate below)

These are so precious, and I already told the students not to plan to get them back because I will treasure them forever :) Keep in mind this is Legacy's very FIRST graduating class! We have 5 seniors and they will be graduating this May!

Top left: Alex

I am intelligent.

No, I am not stupid; nor am I ignorant.

I am loving and thoughtful – and I might even be said to be a good listener.

Top right: Me

I am colorful.

No, I am not in costume; nor am I covered in paint.

I am a mommy with juicy applesauce on my shirt and bright red spaghetti sauce in my hair, and a teacher with red pen marks on my hands and white chalk dust on my black slacks – and I might even be said to be wearing mismatched socks because I’m as tired as I am loving my colorful life.

Middle left: Emily

I am blessed.

No, I am not ungrateful; nor am I selfish.

I am understanding, and a leader at times – and I might even be said to be one of a kind.

Middle Right: Raymond

I am unexpected.

No, I am not noticed; nor am I forgotten.

I am raising up, and not slowing down – and I might even be said to make it far.

Bottom left: Katherine

I am unsure of the future.

No, I am not afraid; nor am I trying to control it.

I am letting my worries drift to tomorrow, and being bold – and I might even be said to take the path less traveled.

Bottom right: Colby

I am funny.

No,  I am not corny; nor am I cheesy.
I am sweet, and nice – and I might even be said to be a man of confidence.

Great explanation of Sympathy vs. Empathy!

I plan to show this to my class on Friday. It's one of the better explanations of the differences between sympathy vs. empathy I've ever heard. Learning how to empathize with someone is such a huge and important life skill. 

Toddlers and high schoolers (with whom I spend most of my time!) are not typically known for their extreme empathy abilities, so I enjoy coming along side them and trying to help them figure it out. Their husbands, wives, moms, dads, children, friends and coworkers will appreciate it one day.

Anyway, enjoy:

http://failblog.cheezburger.com/share/56915969

Gen Y

I may have posted this article before, I can't remember, but I love it so much and just read it again and had to share. This is my generation that the author is talking about - and I can't get over just how spot on it is.

Unicorns be gone! I have a lawn to grow.

http://www.waitbutwhy.com/2013/09/why-generation-y-yuppies-are-unhappy.html?m=1

What I've Learned in 18 months

I find myself so often thinking of all of the incredible things Clara is learning and doing, that I tend to forget that as a Mom I am also on a huge learning curve. Clara will be 18 months in TWO days! That's a lot of time I've had to digest some pretty serious parenting lessons.

As I have friends that become pregnant or deliver their first child, many of them ask me "what do I really need to know!?" --- well, sadly, I have no idea!! Ha!

What I do know now is this:

- I have learned that I cannot protect my child from everything. She will have physical ouchies like scraped knees, bonked heads, and tummy and tooth aches. She will have emotional pain as she learns that there are other people in the world, all with needs and wants of their own - especially with regards to playing and sharing. She will have spiritual hurts as she learns who God is, and questions His motivation during rocky and sad points. It HURTS ME to not be able to make these all better for my daughter. I can kiss the bruise on her head all better, and I can cuddle her when she has a tummy ache, and I can talk with her through spiritual questions, but I cannot make the pain go away, only help her as she learns to deal with it. Hopefully that will help her as she becomes a grown up and deals with even bigger hurts and scary situations.

- I have learned that parenting advice is 99.9% well-intentioned. I remember those first few months after I had Clara, I was so overwhelmed and paranoid that I was doing everything wrong that I took offense to any and all advice given to me. At the time it felt like criticism instead of assistance. (I realize I'm a very sensitive person, I know, I know - I need to grow a thicker skin, it's true.) When you're sleep deprived and dealing with some post-partem depression it can be very hard to hear you're not doing things the right way. And then so many friends, family and strangers gave me conflicting advice and it ends up being even more unsettling because you don't know who to listen to! Now I listen intently when someone gives me some advice - asked for or not - because even when it's not relevant at that exact moment, I've pulled out suggestions I've heard in passing and they've worked! This is especially true as I panic about having 2 children under 2years old. All advice welcome! (What a difference from the first time around, huh?) I've learned that parenting experience is a gift that those with it just want to share. I even find myself in that boat sometimes and I've barely got any experience at all!

- I've learned that every moment IS precious. When older moms and grandmas say "make sure enjoy every moment!" it's not because they *actually* enjoyed every single moment of every single day, but it's because these stages are so incredibly fleeting, and we can only hold onto the memories and feelings by very tips of our fingers as they float away while time passes. I may have cried right along with Clara many nights when she would just cry and cry and cry during that colic stage, but now I picture those soft and angry cuddles and smile. Did I "enjoy" those moments? At the time definitely not! But I do love having had those precious moments with my daughter? Yes, very much so. Now as Clara throws tantrums and refuses to eat, I know that in a month (or six) I will look back at this time and grin and think about how awesome it was that she was becoming a free-thinking independent little girl.

- I've learned that not everyone is a "baby" persona and not everyone is a "toddler" person. This 18 month-ish stage rocks my socks off. I LOVE it. She's busy, semi-independent and yet still craves the connections she has with her parents. She's learning new words almost daily, and new skills all the time. It's incredible and I've never seen anything quite like it. But those early days? I am NOT a baby person, and I accept that now. Bryan was amazing with Clara when she was a little thing, but he struggles with this stage because it's challenging to deal with a rather stubborn and irrational miniature human being. Thank goodness we know our strengths now for when Tiny Two arrives!

- I've learned that different parenting styles are so valuable. While being a relaxed, active, and fairly hands-on Mom works for Clara and I, I love watching my friends with their children. Some hover and are always teaching their kids new things because they are right there showing them. Some Moms are 100% hands off and let their kids learn through experiences. Some Moms let their kids eat dirt, and some moms let their kids eat fast food, and some moms don't care what their child eats as long as they are actually eating something, and some moms are very particular about the foods their child consumes. Some practice ABCs with flashcards, some play trains and trucks, some Moms go for lots of nature walks with their kids, and some Moms like to stay home and make cute crafts with finger paint and stickers. Some Moms like to be social and some like to save socialization for special occasions. What's truly amazing is that they ALL work out. Our kids are all as well mannered a group of tiny barbarians can be, and they are all happy and healthy.

- I have learned that I am long winded and like to take lots of pictures. Does this need further explanation? :)

- I have learned that I've never been so grateful in my entire life to have close friends and family to laugh and cry and celebrate these sweet kiddos with. THANK YOU for loving on us, and being patient with me as I learn. I love that you follow our journey with us and that you let me brag and despair about my child regularly.

Love you all!

Teaching our kiddos to be human

This really hit home for me:

http://sydneysteiner.com/2013/08/31/why-i-do-not-care-about-teaching-my-toddler-about-letters-shapes-and-colors/

I need to work harder at this!!

world breastfeeding week article

loved, loved, loved this article and all of the funny comics about world breastfeeding week!

http://ouradoptionfaithwalk.blogspot.com/2013/08/world-breastfeeding-week-salute.html

as our kids compete

http://growingleaders.com/blog/what-parents-should-say-as-their-kids-perform/

Such a great article! This is talking about older kids competing. But I truly believe it could apply to a little league baseball game, a soloist competition, or an art contest. Maybe because my primary love language is Words of Affirmation, this really made sense to me, but I liked the way they spelled it out.

Hopefully I'll remember this as I'm cheering for Clara to slide home!! :)

A response to my mothering

A few days ago a fellow mom posted some really ugly things about me on her blog. At first I was upset. Being a parent is the single most challenging thing I've ever done, and the frequent uncertainty can be unnerving as it is (Do I take my child to the doctor for this? Do I enroll her in structured activities? Do I let her cry it out or rock her to sleep? Do I start to wean or keep nursing? Do I allow her to only eat crackers for 3 days straight or insist she eat veggies even if she refuses to eat? etc. etc. etc.)

And then to read paragraph after paragraph of all the things I do wrong in this mom's eyes was brutal.
She believes that I have no control over my child, and that I have little concern about her health or well-being.

I had to ask myself, "is this mom right? am I raising a hooligan with no thought to her future? will she be a criminal that refuses to wear shoes? will she go to a fancy restaurant when her future spouse proposes and decide to crawl on the floor? will she always be a mess!?"

But one thing struck me as I re-read her rather hateful post, and I thought over what she was saying.

Ultimately she believed I was giving my child a poor example to imitate.
Well, I thought, maybe so. But then again, maybe not.

Here is what Clara might be observing from my parenting:

1. A mom who allows blocks to hang out in the corner, books spread over the rug, a dog bone by the fireplace, and tupperware everywhere.

2. A mom who isn't the best cook and believes that frozen pizza, chicken & veggies, and grilled cheese with tomato soup are totally acceptable meals to have more than once a week.

3. A mom who likes to be on the go, running errands, volunteering, seeing friends and family, even when we are a little bit tired or feeling sad.

4. A mom who goes out into public dressed in a t-shirt and shorts, with her hair in a bun and no make-up on.

5. A mom who allows her child to walk in a public place without shoes. Who lets her child eat dog food and dirt. Who thinks it's okay to have a child not feel 100%, but still do something fun to help get her mind off of it.

6. A mom who lets her child jump off the couch, walk into a door, climb up on a chair, or crawl through the doggy door.

7. A mom who lets people see when she is sad, happy, angry or excited rather than hide it.

That is a list of bad parenting decisions, right?

BUT here is what I hope she takes away and IMITATES as she learns and grows watching me and my messy parenting:

1. A mom who prioritizes play over being tidy. Motor skills and early childhood literacy!

2. A mom who believes that no matter what dinner is, the chance to sit down, pray and eat together every night is what is important.

3. A mom who believes that humans are built for companionship. I believe that putting friends and family (and even strangers!) as a priority above our comfort is very important.

4. A mom who believes that making it to library story time or a playdate with friends is more important than fixing my hair. Who believes that my child will love me and appreciate me regardless of hair put in a ponytail, or forgotten mascara, or chipped nail polish.

5. A mom who believes that a non-walking child does not need shoes. And shoot, sometimes even a walking child doesn't need them! (or maybe they do, and it's just a battle I'm not always willing to fight.) Who believes germs build good immune systems. Who believes that once her child tries a little dirt or kibble will decide it's pretty yucky and probably won't go back for more. At least not often :)

6. A mom who believes children are designed to explore the world and learn from doing. A mom who would rather her child fall off the couch once when Mommy is there to kiss it better, than wait until she's at pre-school and diving off the monkey bars headfirst because there isn't a mommy there to caution her. A mom who believes that if kids are given the chance, they will begin to learn to make intelligent decisions by themselves.

7. A mom who believes emotions are natural - it's how we express those emotions that says something about us. A mom who thinks it's okay to be angry that you're not allowed to put your fingers in the blender, but that you will have to get over it and find something else to play with. A mom who is allowed to be upset that a former friend said ugly things about her, and crying is ok, but replying with nasty words is not.

Am I a perfect mom? I'm so far from perfect it's laughable sometimes. 

I am a mom who believes that trying to convince herself, her children and the rest of the world that they are perfect is a huge disservice to everyone. A mom who believes we should embrace our strengths, try to hone our weaknesses, and celebrate that we are all unique.

Is Clara a perfect child? Definitely not.
She is full of life, strong-willed, intelligent, curious, social, with an inclination to laugh and cry hard.
Is it my job to convince her and everyone else that everything she does it perfect? Definitely not.
I'm okay with less than perfect. I want her to be Godly, healthy, polite, and curious.
I also want her to be realistic. I want her to celebrate her strengths, accept her shortcomings, and work hard on both.

I want her to know that words can wound someone deeply. That they can't be unsaid.
I want her to know that there are people who will need her to reach out to them, even if she feels shy or uncomfortable.
I want her to know how to pray with people when they need it.
I want her to be comfortable accepting constructive criticism, and to know how to offer it when the time is right.
I want her to see that while the world is messy (and so is our house!) that doesn't mean we can't keep trying to make it better and better.

I do so many things wrong while I parent. But I think I do some things right. And that's what I'm going to focus on and celebrate for now.

AMEN!! Great article.

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/christine-grossloh/have-american-parents-got-it-all-backwards_b_3202328.html

Mistakes We Make Leading Kids

http://growingleaders.com/blog/3-mistakes-we-make-leading-kids/

Great article about the modern day Risks, Rescues and Affirmation. 

Enjoy!

C-section Courage

I am an active member of a Mommy group for moms that were pregnant and due in May 2012. Technically I had Clara in June, but thankfully no one booted me out for that small detail :)

Today one of the women posted this blog article which spoke to me:

http://avital.blogspot.com/2011/01/cesarean-courage.html?m=1

I still have moments of extreme disappointment that I had Clara by c-section. I worked my butt off trying to have the labor and delivery I wanted for us, and it didn't happen, and it's hard to not feel guilty about that. The most scared I've ever been in my life was on the operating table after hours of agonizing labor. I was so tired. And so I think I just really appreciated hearing that it takes a different kind of courage to handle having a c-section, recovering from one, and then dealing with the comments of "oh, that probably wasn't necessary" after.

If you're a c-section mom, you may know what I'm talking about.

Child Type Article

Through my Mommy group I recently discovered this chart, and the blog that goes with it:

http://thechildwhisperer.com/how-to-determine-type-1-3/

If you are interested in another way of looking at your child's tantrums, and what may be causing them, it's definitely worth a look!