I really want to send out a huge thank you to all of you who sent flowers or cards, emailed or sent messages, called or visited me when I was sad and lonely, and prayed for our family the last 2 weeks.
I realize that other than my blog post I haven't been very forthcoming about the miscarriage, or been very willing to discuss it. I am a huge talker I know, but I tend to keep "bad stuff" safe inside of me where I can "control" what happens with it. I found that as soon as I started discussing it with someone or writing about it, down poured the tears again, which was just exhausting. So, I allowed myself to grieve by myself for a little while. I am doing much better now. I got the all clear from the doc today, they did an ultrasound to check for anything that could be lingering since I opted to miscarry naturally rather than have the D&C operation. I'm still feeling a bit more emotional and hormonal than I usually am, and it hits me in waves at random times, but other than that I feel like I'm almost back to the "real me."
Real me doesn't necessarily equal the old me, though. The old me didn't have to grieve for this child, or know that in January we would be greeting another miracle. I am able to move forward, however, and I think this has really strengthened my faith.
Thank you, thank you from the bottom of the heart for loving our family so much.
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