Dear readers,
I'm sure those of you who have been reading my blog for a while will remember my grumpy posts when I was 41 and 42 weeks pregnant with Clara. I can think of similar times when I've expressed a concern, a fear, or extreme excitement in person, texting, or via internet message.
I think our instinctive response to problematic situations is to tell people that "it will be okay" or "you'll be fine" or "here is a positive part." When someone is exceptionally excited most people tend to want to caution the person, "just be careful to not get your hopes up" or "watch out for this." Similar statements happen when people are sad, depressed, or just content. "Wait for the other shoe to fall," "you'll get things figured out eventually," etc.
My biggest gift from God is my incredible ability to empathize. I am not great with nurturing, hospitality, or sympathy (much to my chagrin), BUT I can truly empathize with other people. It's rare that you will hear a trite comment from me, or for me to brush off excitement or concerns. I love to feel with other people. I like to validate what they feel, regardless of whether or not I believe it makes sense. I, in turn, appreciate being validated.
So, as I share this information with you, please remember that these are real concerns of mine. I can think of silver lining too, I promise! But I am nervous. I have faith that God will orchestrate the rest of the pregnancy the way He believes it should, but that doesn't leave me without trepidation about what will happen.
A few weeks ago we found out we are going to be blessed with another baby girl. Shocked? Most definitely. Delighted? You bet! I left the u/s and was told they would contact me with any concerns, otherwise I should assume everything was fine and my OB would talk to me at my next scheduled appointment (which was yesterday). The next day I received a phone call. People, my heart about sunk to my toes.
The first item was that we would need a closer look at Tiny Two's heart, because the angle's of the scan were not very good and showed a possible hole in her heart. While this is not urgent, it is still something that needs to be addressed. I have another ultrasound with a specialist in 2 weeks to determine how to proceed regarding her heart.
The second item was more pressing. I had what they termed a "complete placenta previa," which means that my placenta grew on top of my cervix and would prevent the baby from exiting the usual way. Given that the plan is for a repeat c-section, this wouldn't normally be too big of a concern, except for the risk of bleeding. I was told to take things very easy and to get to the hospital ASAP at the tiniest sign of blood because it could be a ruptured placenta. This made me a little nervous, but not terribly. I was told that the greatest risk of that happening wouldn't be until the 3rd trimester anyway, so I had a little ways to go.
Yesterday was my appointment. I was grateful to see that I had only gained 1lb at 20 weeks (hooray!), blood pressure was excellent (take that, Pre-E!), and Tiny Two's heartbeat was strong, quick and steady at 145 beats a minute. Such a fun and glorious sound! Especially considering their concerns about her heart, it was good to not be able to discern anything abnormal from just listening.
Then the OB tried to figure out what has changed with the placenta, if anything. Unfortunately, I have developed what is called placenta accreta; which means that now not only is the placenta in a bad place, but it has actually grown into the wall of my uterus, specifically into the scar tissue from my previous c-section. This is actually really crummy news. My OB is transferring my care to a specialist that delivers downtown at Texas Children's Hospital because the risk of extreme blood loss during delivery is very high. There is also a 50-75% chance of an unplanned hysterectomy if the bleeding can't be controlled quickly. They are planning to deliver our little one at 36 weeks to prevent the baby from getting too large and putting more pressure on the placenta. I'm voting for March 12, but we'll see. Due to the premature birth, there is a good chance little lady may need some help developing her lungs and we may need to stay at the Children's Hospital while she's in the NICU for a little while. This scares me the most. If there wasn't such huge risks associated with waiting to deliver until 39-40 weeks, we would NOT be doing that. They are also hoping that by delivering early we will reduce the chance of me developing Pre-E symptoms again, which would further complicate the placenta accreta. It's kind of a mess.
The advantages: I won't be pregnant 42 weeks again (WHOOP!) and if there is an unplanned hysterectomy I will never have to deal with another menstrual cycle again (again, very cool); HOWEVER, I do NOT want my ability to have future children determined by this surgery, so please please pray that the doctors will be able to deliver our baby girl safety, that she will be healthy and able to breathe just fine, and that the placenta will cooperate and the bleeding will slow and stop quickly. I also ask that you pray for peace of mind. There are so many bigger problems we could be faced with, believe me, I know. But this is our current situation and I'm nervous.
I hope this didn't overwhelm anyone, but I also want prayer warriors stepping up so I want to share with you. I am also having a hard time "taking it easy" with a job and a toddler. If you are bored and have free time, PLEASE feel free to come hang out with us and keep a very very busy bee company :)
Love to you all,
Katy
No comments:
Post a Comment