Clara Beth's Birth Story

Clara Beth’s birth story:

[Written in November, 2012 but only posting it now] 

I’m so sad that I’ve waited until my baby girl is 5 months old to finally write her birth story. But I wanted to write what I really want to remember after the shock wears off … not when it was too fresh to be able to remember the joy mixed with the pain.

After 2 weeks of severe false labor, and one preemptive trip, I was pushing 43 weeks pregnant. I had tried just about everything anyone has ever suggested for started labor: walking miles, eating spicy food and eggplant parmesan, bouncing on the ball, having my membranes swept twice, leaning upside down off of the couch, jumping on the trampoline (TERRIBLE idea by the way), and – yes – castor oil…. Twice. Never, ever, ever, ever again!! I was fully effaced and dilated about 2cm for weeks, but nothing was happening. We found out why later.

Early afternoon on June 11^th, I had taken castor oil for the second time. Yuck. I’d been experiencing all of the unpleasant side effects, but no real labor contractions. Disappointed, we went to bed. A little after midnight I woke up to a strong contraction. I stood up quickly trying to take some pressure off of my lower back, and my water broke all over the floor. Thrilled something was finally going to happen, I woke up Bryan to let him know my water broke, but that was the last thing I was able to say easily for the next 15 or so hours.

Contractions started coming hard and fast. About every 2 minutes, lasting about 45 seconds to a minute each. I pretty much skipped “early labor” and went straight into “real labor.” Bryan called our midwife, Trish, and she said she would meet us at Nativiti Birthing Center as soon as we could get there, which should take about 30 minutes. Thankfully Maverick was already settled at Leah & Duncan’s house, so we didn’t have to worry about him, and Goose had just had puppies and was in Austin. Without any puppies to worry about, we grabbed our stuff and headed out the door.

In the 20 or so minutes that had elapsed since my water broke, I thought, “Oh crap, how am I going to ride in a car for 30 minutes!? These HURT.” In the end I ended up riding to the birthing center kneeling on the floor in the backseat. There was no way I could sit correctly. I have no memory of Bryan driving, just horrible, miserable pain, and thinking I would rather have the baby in a gutter on the side of the road than stay in that car another minute. Bryan wouldn’t have let me. He must have run a red light because I got a ticket a few weeks later! Good thing there was zero traffic at almost 1am on a Monday night!

We finally arrived at the birthing center, and I was so, so thankful to get out of the car. Trish met us at the door, and seeing the state I was in, led us into the birthing suite. I lay on the bed as she directed, and she checked my progress. Still 100% effaced, and I had dilated to 3cm since they checked me the day previously when they swept my membranes. The contractions were getting stronger and stronger, I was shocked by the intensity of some of them. Having decided to go med-free, I started employing the breathing and vocalization techniques we had learned at the birthing class. Bryan put pressure on my back, rubbed my neck, and verbally encouraged me while I walked, bounced on the ball, and spent a ton of time kneeling by the side of the bed rocking back and forth.

Around 3:30am, I realized I wanted my Mom there, and figured Bryan could use some help supporting me. While we waited for her to join us, Trish checked my progress again – I was at 7cm! I managed to progress from 3-7 in just two hours. Feeling encouraged, but still struggling through contractions, I decided to use the birthing tub. It helped slow the contractions down briefly. Enough for me to catch my breath. They had been coming almost one after another and I was quickly getting exhausted. Bryan kept giving me water to drink and continuing to rub and put counter-pressure on my back, which I really appreciated. When Mom arrived she helped him out.

From ~3:30am-7am I dilated to 9cm. It was pretty awful, but I kept at it. The contractions hurt like crazy, the water helped, the back pressure helped, and I spent a lot of time laboring on the toilet. I know it sounds weird, but that position helped tremendously. I was also scared I was going to pee or poo all over myself since there was so much pressure constantly and I felt better about being on the toilet. I don’t remember exactly, but I think I spent the majority of that time completely naked, not bothering to get dressed when I got out of the tub to change positions. I doubt the midwife, Bryan, or my Mom cared. Meanwhile, Dad had arrived at some point and waited in the family waiting area. I can’t imagine how awful that must have been for him with all the moaning (and probably screaming) I was starting to do. 

Around 9am things started to change. Up to that point I had felt a huge amount of pain (I found out later that my labor was much more intense than usual according to my midwife – I’m glad she didn’t mention it then. I took heart thinking that other women had endured what I was going through and they did it, so I could too. I’m so relieved most women don’t go through strong contractions one after another for hours upon hours!) but I still felt hopeful and strong. Now I wasn’t so sure.

How had I managed to get to 9cm, but progress had stalled hours ago and I couldn’t get to a 10? I could tell Trish was getting concerned as well, especially since there was no obvious reason why I should continue to have contractions the way I was but not have continued progress. She called in for back up, and Melanie (another midwife) and a labor assistant/nurse (I don’t remember her name & I don’t care because she was AWFUL and so rude) showed up.

Melanie’s been practicing for over 30 years and can usually get anything to work. Her idea was to get me back in the tub & have me start pushing, thinking that would maybe get my cervix to fully dilate. No good. Then she had me lay on the bed – EXCRUCIATING! – (I don’t have any idea how all those ladies in the hospital can do that), turning over and over, while trying to push. Then they tried to manually dilate my cervix. There are no words to tell you how badly that hurt – far worse than anything so far, and that was saying something. I was screaming my head off, freaking my parents and Bryan out I’m sure. 

After about 3 hours of that crap, I said no more. Just no more. I knew in my gut that something was wrong and the expressions they were giving each other further convinced me it was true. I tried to ignore the rude nurse telling me that if “I just tried hard enough, I could get the baby out. I just didn’t want it enough, just wasn’t trying hard enough…. Blah blah blah.” I have to be honest – if I had had any strength left at that time, I would have decked her. No joke. I broke down and said I couldn’t do it – not just “I can’t do it because it hurts” but “my body won’t let me do it.” I got really scared. And then I asked to be transferred to a hospital.

Bryan was really concerned. I had made him promise me to not give into any whining, and encourage me to get through no matter what. Now he was thinking – “Do I stick with that promise? Do I believe her when she says she needs to go? What do I do!?!?” I guess the midwives finally agreed that it was the right thing to do, because my cervix just wouldn’t get completely dilated but the contractions weren’t slowing down a bit. No one can last forever doing that.

By the time I made up my mind (around noon), and by the time they identified a hospital with a doctor that would take me and try to get the baby out naturally (hard to find), it was around 1pm. I was about to walk my not-so-happy butt to a hospital since at the time I thought they were dragging their feet on purpose, hoping something would happen that could keep me there.

As soon as they announced Conroe Regional Hospital as our destination, Dad wasted no time to get me into his truck, buckled up and ready to go. The midwives and that jerk-nurse had to race after me with the blood pressure cuff and thermometer, since apparently they had to have complete stats and progress noted to send to the hospital. My BP was getting way too high at this point, so thankfully we were headed off. The midwives said that they would have suggested it by this point if I hadn’t already an hour earlier. I guess I just knew my body wasn’t going to cooperate. Believe me, if I thought it would have I definitely would have stayed. I had managed med-free through all of that, and I really didn’t want to get into another car in that condition.

Bryan drove our car by himself. He was so tired. Dad drove Mom & I – I think mostly because he needed a job to do.

We checked into the hospital at 1:30pm. I have been told that every time I had a contraction I growled and was angry, but I don't remember much of it. I was also told that I was very pale & clammy. They gave me a shot of something once I was checked in, which helped with the pain only a very tiny bit. Then they wanted me to fill out paperwork. I guess I refused, because Bryan filled it out and I just grabbed a pen and drew a straight line when they needed my signature. They got an anesthesiologist in my room eventually, and I was prepped & ready for an epidural. They kept asking me to hold perfectly still while they did it. I knew that's what needed to happen - aim is rather key with those things - but I was still having contractions one on top of another, and it was challenging. Within about 20-30 minutes after getting the epidural I was told I looked normal again – and better yet, I was no longer shouting and moaning. For some reason it numbed one side more than the other though.

miserable, and thankful for these guys

They gave me Pitocin hoping to get the last centimeter to happen, and kept upping the dose over time.

Bryan passed out, Meemaw & Papaw arrived & then my support grew went to go get freebirds while I tried to reach 10 cm. Unfortunately, before that could happen my blood pressure skyrocketed, and baby’s plummeted. We had had a great first nurse, but our second one kept scaring me claiming I was a c-section waiting to happen and prepped me before the doctor even asked her to.

bryan sleeping and me trying to

so much less pain! hooray!

about to be parents!

But ultimately the doctor agreed with her - especially after the BPs were starting to look alarming. Bryan got back from eating and got into scrubs. They wheeled me into the room, and Bryan had to wait in the hall for about 10 minutes while they got everything ready. 

last picture before baby!

Once he got the all clear, he sat on a stool behind my shoulder so he could see my face and see what they were doing. He held my hand and talked to me.

The surgery took about 10 minutes, doing the normal cuts first, but since I had already pushed so hard, and she was so far down they had to do extra cutting to get her out & had to wiggle her out of my pelvis. Despite being mostly numb, it was very trippy.

They pulled her out with her giant cone head, crying. They put her under a heat lamp, and checked to make sure everything was fine and using the Apgar scale thing. She was perfect.

Bryan went over to the table the baby was on. They put her feet imprint on the paper and on Bryan’s scrubs (wish I would have known that!)

They started wheeling her out, and Bryan said “bye, love you! Following the baby!”

After Bryan left I had a horrible panic attack and they had to further drug sedate me. Sticking all my organs back in and stitching me up hurt like crazy, and I was so scared.

Meanwhile, Bryan went with Clara to the nursery. They weighed her (7lbs, 12oz) and measured her (20.5in), and Bryan got to play with her hands and feet while they measured her head circumference. 

Daddy's first picture with her - check out her huge but adorable cone head!

peeking through the window

Not a fan of bathtime

After her first bath they put a diaper on her, lightly swaddled her, and they brought her to me in a different room. They put her on my chest, skin to skin, and she immediately ate (a nurse helped me figure out how to get her to latch).

Mom, Dad, Meemaw and Papaw all had to leave after getting a quick glimpse because of their visiting hours, but thankfully they were able to get a peek first.

Meanwhile, I was transferred to a new room where we were going to stay, conveniently right next to the nursery. I said I wanted her in our room that night, and they brought her back to me. I have never been so thankful to hold a baby in my arms as right then!


Unfortunately I don't have a single picture of me with Clara (although maybe it's a good thing because I looked really bad) from the day of her birth, but I do have this one of us with her the next morning:

We love you Clara!! Every minute of it was worth it to have you here with us.